Here's all the stuff that isn't special enough for its own page, yet needs to be dealt with in a swift and quiet manner so I don't sit around staring at it and saying to myself, "That's too good to not use somewhere." Hopefully I'm not the only amused person, but hey, wouldn't be the first time.

I did this with one of those "Create your own NES comic" websites. (For some reason I can't find the image that scrolls across the middle - that's ok, don't think it's relevant to my comic here.) For some reason, everyone I know fails to "get it." What's there not to get? They're looking at each other and talking to each other. "How do you pee in this thing?" Come on, that's comedic genius! Even tho I thought the joke was rather primitive, myself. Or maybe I have a big ego.

I don't know why I did this. For some reason I find lists fascinating, and I thought maybe you might find my shopping list fascinating, too. This is an ACTUAL replica of a shopping list I would use at the grocery store. (Ignore the mis-spellings of Febreze and the corrected version of "jerky".) All the items are colour coded in relationship to where in the store they can be found. Most of the lists I do aren't colour coded, but number coded. I just had new Muji pens and wanted to play with them.

Someday, I'll make a dynamic version and you'll be able to write your own stuff on it and cross out stuff I've written. Yeah, feel the excitement that exudes from a grocery list.

This baffles me. This is an actual box of popcorn chicken that I bought. Honestly, I mainly bought it because I couldn't believe what I was seeing (Tho the chicken itself was fairly good - sometimes gristly). Ok, first off, they're chickens. In a theatre. Wearing... sunglasses? What the holy fuck? A theatre is dark, how could you see with that shit on? Don't tell me they're 3-D goggles. They can't be. The only thing I could figure was either the chickens' eyes were that sensitive to the projector light, or they all caught a nasty strain of pink eye from each other. However, this isn't the most disturbing thing to me. Look at what they're eating. It doesn't come out and make it obvious, but we might as well bring it out into the open: Popcorn chicken. Isn't that some form of cannibalism? Have they discovered that their brothers and sisters are so tasty, that popcorn chicken is just that good? Err, I suppose first I should ask how they discovered this. The prospects are chilling. It's like Soilent Green of the bird world. Despite all these thoughts plaguing my sleep pattern, I still buy this crap and eat it. They're good with ketchup.

Usually Chinese fortune cookies make my eyes roll. I always get them, but the "fortune" inside isn't worth the paper it would take to wipe my ass. (No, it's not supposed to make sense.) This one took me by surprise:

...How... blunt. I like how they tried to subtley slip in the fact that they think I'm a loser. They have "best" in there twice, but if you're bright enough, you realise all the "best" don't mean crap. It could say "Best best best best you're the best loser best" and you can still bet the negative would outweigh the positive. Still, it's the most accurate one I've had to date.

Recently, while searching thru an old school binder for some Christmas cards I drew, I came across this.

Take a moment to take it all in. Just... look at it. My first thought was "What was I thinking when I drew that? What could possibly make me WANT to draw this scene?" The inexplicable blue man is so sad. I can't quite figure out why... is it because he's plagued incessantly by bowel movements? Is his ass raw from wiping so much? Is he experiencing a bad case of hemmroids that even the most tender of toilet paper can't help? Or does the toilet paper have the texture of sandpaper? Is it because his name is "Crappy", thus making him doomed to a life of ridicule and torture from other children? Alternately, is it because my toilet is WAY out of perspective? Do you suppose that's just how it is in his universe? Is he crying because of my complete lack of respect for basic principles of drawing? ...Or is it because he can't grow hair on his head, yet his legs are brimming with follicles? WHAT IS IT?!?

I think out of all of it tho, the single tear cracks me up the most.

I don't remember where I first saw this thing, but it was a LONG time ago, when I used to scour the net looking for free graphics to use on my old personal site. Somehow this thing has lasted thru floppy disks, reformats and a zip drive crash. Its resilliance sort of frightens me. Anyway, why did I save it? Because I thought it was creepy. Just... LOOK at it. WHAT exactly can explain that bulge that suddenly appears when he plops down on the ground? And what is that blanket thing he's carrying? Can we say "cum rag"? This bear screams "Sexual Predator" to me. In a sick, demented way, I'm glad I finally have somewhere to put it, so I can share my pervertedness with every single human being in the universe.