On the night of June 20th, 2003, something horrible and unforseen happened to me.

At approximately 6:35 p.m. CDT, mayonessa came home with an order of food from a local Arby's. She had mozzerella sticks and a large order of curly fries.

As she sat down, she dropped the curly fries. ALL OVER THE COUCH. All over the couch, the very same couch cat hair clings to, the very same couch she farts on. In a fit of anger, she hurled the empty box at the back window, but it didn't help. The fries were already gone. Even more painful, the taste of the few she'd eaten in the car still lingered on her greasy lips.

Frustrated, she got online to talk to a friend to help her thru the pain. He suggested for her to buy new fries. "But I have no money," she whimpered, "I'm just a poor retarded girl."

I am that poor retarded girl.

Then an idea was born. Why not set up a donation page to help me get my fries back?

This is mayonessa's French Fry Fund. If you donate, you can supply me with all the french fries I'll ever need to compensate. In return, I'll take a picture of myself eating some new fries. Won't you help a girl out?

Total amount donated so far:

Total fries bought so far:
none yet.


What kind of fries do you want?
How much should I pay?
Does Paypal take a cut?
How can I be sure you're buying french fries with this money, hmm?
Who's donated?