If you're reading the "Thanks" page, then you're either A) Really bored or 2) Mentioned here. Either way, keep on scrollin', Chico.

First off, I would like to say that I do not deserve this. All those other starving children in Bangkok deserve this award much more than I. But I'm going to take it anyway. I'd share it with them, but you can't eat heavily plated metal, especially if you have no teeth.

Ah, and the people that made this page possible! Extra special thanks go to the voices in my head. Without them threatening to kill me if I didn't do what they asked, this all would have never been a reality. I dread a severe beating with a toilet brush more than html. Thank you.

Other thank you's go out to these people, in no specific alphabetical order:

Angie. The first e-mail I ever recieved was from you. Remember Annick00787678 or whatever that screen name was? And Weird_Ang. That was my favourite. OH! Yes. Thank you for being there for me as far back as I can remember, and for always giving me encouragement from the little shreds of a beginning of this page. Even when I had no idea WTF I was doing with html and the page looked like utter wank, you told me it looked wonderful and gave me a light of hope at the end of the tunnel. You inspired me to create beyond what I could actually create and to dream beyond what I could actually dream, and I'm forever in debt to you. You've been my oldest and truest friend, and I know all that has nothing to do with this web page, but THANK YOU! I love you!

Ann. You coming back into my life is something I certainly never anticipated, but now I can't imagine living without you. Thanks for letting me stalk you, it makes it all so much easier. Really tho, Ann, your support means the world to me, and you always encourage my deadpan, crude sense of humour. Because of you, I've taken all the smilies off of these pages. It was mass smiley genocide. I won't lie to you, it felt good, like Spot on a cold winter night. (errr...) Just thank you for being the beautiful girl you are, thank you for sharing a sense of humour with me that knows no bounds, and thank you for being one of the most outstanding friends ever. ...Bitch. ;)

As always, give Jenn a hug for me.

*Asterix*. Once I called you A. Then it was Lexx. Eventually it was bound to evolve into a full name. Now I try and call you Alexandra because it's such a pretty name. I'm going to name a baby after you. You always said "Don't call me Alex!" so I feel strange calling you Alex. But this is supposed to be a thank you, not a chronology of your nicknames. The people who don't like you don't know what they're talking about and they suck. Don't listen to them. You're a sweet, creative and extremely passionate person, and that's what makes you beautiful. Thank you for always being a supporter of me. I appreciate all the compliments and encouragement you've given me with not only my personal pages, but with my Cats page even moreso. It's people like you who convince me to not give up on it, no matter how many months I've gone without an update. Who knows, maybe someday your encouragement will force me to work on it. Also, thank you for cheezrulez.com. I'm proud of that site *for* you, damnit. ;) *sighs* I'm just honoured to be your best friend. I could go on all day, listing the wonderful things about you, you know. I love you so much it hurts.

Brian. Or as Ang and I called you, Brain. I miss you, love. Sometimes I lay awake at night and try to remember when the last time was that I talked to you before you passed away, and I cry myself to sleep wondering if you knew how much I cared about you. You were my first Internet friend, and I look back and wonder how weird things would have been if I hadn't met you. I have faith that you are in Heaven now, looking down on me with your cherubic face, and someday I want to meet you in person. God bless you Brian, and God bless everyone who has mourned for the loss of a brilliant friend.

Chris (aka Critter). Ha ha ha! Hey Powder, looks like mayocom actually beat Critterville in the race of the holding pages. I had my doubts, really. Thanks for being supportive and giving me the faith that mayocom would actually make it past the holding page stage... for giving me a big head that my content would amount to something. ;) I sincerely love you, Chris. Thank you for being so lovely, and thank you for helping me with my Java homework. You've done more for me than you know. Say hello to your mom for me.

Dani. My Dani Dear. Where to start? You constantly surprise me. You claim to not be creative, yet you're brimming with the stuff, you're intensely optimistic, frightningly mature, and just the sweetest person I know. I can't count the times just a simple kind word from you has turned my day around. Thank you forever for taking the initiative and e-mailing me that first time... I can't imagine life without you. Watching you grow up, I suppose (tho you're already so mature for your age, and always have been), is something I'm glad I've had the pleasure to witness. I'm honoured to be hosting Scrumptiously Crunchable on my site. Hell, I'm honoured that you'll have anything to do with me, period. ;) You're such a doll, and anyone who knows you should realise how precious you are. Keep your chin up. You are very, very loved.

Dodo. Let's face it, you don't have a lot to do with my website, but I originally put you in here so I'm going to KEEP you in here, if I have to bound and gag you with electrical tape. You're more fun to talk to than most alive humans... and more intelligent to boot. Thanks for speaking French to me, and exposing me to Vacuum. And thank you for being concerned about me whenever I was concerning. Quapla'.

Donnie. Reverend Donnie. I never thought I'd actually be talking to you, and I know that sounds strange, but it's true! When I was a lurker on hell... I mean, amsp... I always read your posts and thought to myself, "Wow, he's a really sweet and cool person," and I thought about e-mailing you and telling you that, but I never did. And then when I saw you posting on amsg, I almost did a double take, cos you were a Pumpkins fan - what in the name of Sweet Geri were you doing on a Spice Girls group?! I honestly think you're one of the funniest people I have ever met. I've had so much fun talking to you about the freaks and paedophiles on amsp and the wankers in Germany. Your crazy sense of humour always brightens my day and I love it. Thank you for always being around for me to talk about my problems with, and then to make me feel better by uttering some dirty German phrase. And you know what else? I've always admired you for the time it takes you to create something. As soon as I'm catching up with the first thing you've done, you're three or four steps ahead of me. It's been so much fun to watch your pages evolve from something on Tripod to where you are now. Being a different gender, however, is something else entirely. I miss talking to you as often as I used to, and sometimes I worry about you. Always take care of yourself, ok? I love you so much! God bless you!

Jarod. You were a Saved by the Bell character, I was a condiment (and still am, legally). So... How the hell did it happen?! No matter how it happened, I'm just glad it did. You've done so much for me that I can't even begin to list it all here. And I know you know the things I'm talking about. But I'm going to repeat some of them anyway. (Have I ever mentioned I tend to repeat myself? Well, I tend to repeat myself!) First off, thank you for calling me Britney Spears and reminding me I "look like" Alanis Morissette. Thank you for all the fun times we had working together on websites... some of those nights we spent together, up til 3 a.m. loaded up on Kool-Aid sugar and writing bits for SLC are some of my most cherished memories. Nobody can take our silly websites away from us. Thanks for always being true, always being honest, always listening when I had something I wanted to say, no matter how ludicrous, and *especially* for being so supportive of whatever I drag in to you! :) And on the flip side, thanks for letting me be there for you, too. That means more to me than I could ever express in words! Every moment we spend together is extremely precious to me, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Thank you for being 100% pure *YOU* - the exact reason why I love you so much. No matter what anyone thinks of you or says to you, always remember that there's one person out there who thinks you are one of the most intriguing people she's ever met. *big hugs and smooches*

Jerry. It's been so long since we talked, n'est ce pas? I do miss you. I miss chats that were like a game of tennis, I miss leaving you silly guestbook notes, and I definitely miss conspiring things such as Janet Rhino. No matter what you're doing or where you're going, I wish nothing but the best for you. I'll always look up to you somehow. Take care of yourself, ok? Remember God is watching over you and loves you! You will always be one of the most pure and beautiful people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting... Never change yourself. Ever. "I love you guestbook, and one day I want to marry you!"

Kyle. From innocent Mormon Boy to K00\_ d00d H4x0r. Who would've guessed? Thanks for still keeping in touch, even after the rather dramatic changes you went through (I think trying to dye your hair with Sun In was where you went wrong, babe.;) And special thanks to you for being the first to tell me "Your page looks like crap!" It makes the perfect quote for a .sig. I wished you could've been with Crystal and I at graduation... but nevermind that, I'm happy for you to be making money illegally. I'm not sure where you are at the moment, as we've lost touch over the years as all of us have seemed to do since high school. I noticed you've been... err... arrested at some point. Please, if you see this, let me know you're ok. To say I worry is an understatement. Take care of yourself, silly boy. *big smooches*

Michael. Without a doubt, you're my bestest male companion. You absolutely take the cake. (But at least you give me the choice of cake vs. death first.) I'm not sure if either of us can believe this, but you're the most fun, silly, humourous, levelheaded, perverted, rational, hilarious, unbiased, normal person I have met on this box thingie called a computer. That's quite a feat, you know. Especially considering you were the inspiration behind the RLW, and you draw ASCII porn goats. Seriously, I would have gone mad by now if you weren't there to remind me that life is supposed to be insanely ludicrous and lighthearted. Thank you for just being Michael... and sometimes Hector. But I like Michael better. I adore you, and I owe you big time for being the nicest guy ever. (Or at least in Oklahoma.)

Peter. My Soundman. Thanks for always giving me a kind word when I was feeling down, and making me laugh with that wonderful sense of humour of yours. You've always managed to see the bright side of everything, even tho you live in England, which is anything but bright. Your advice has always been right on the mark, and I cherish every word you've said to me. Thanks for always talking me back up, even if I didn't show it. No matter what anyone says, your British accent is absolutely lovely and I'm sure your Serbian accent is even better. I've missed talking to you as much as I used to. You're a doll. I promise I'll be at the airport next time... I'll see you there.

Philip. Well, well. Who would have guessed we'd end up where we ended up? I don't care what anyone else says, you are an enigma. (And quite cute! Ha ha.) Your sense of humour is above and beyond anything I've ever encountered before; you are the most abstractly creative person I know. Ideas, ideas... everything you do never ceases to amaze me. Your open-mindedness is beautiful and priceless, and I'm glad I've had the opportunity to share that with you. But, more than anything, thank you for having faith in me, that my pages, even tho not quite melding together seamlessly, could be a site that YOU would actually want to look at. To say I don't hold your opinion about webstuff in high regard would be a lie. Honestly, I contemplated trashing mayocom many times because I felt it would never meet up to your standards, and I know others have felt that same way. On that note, I'm deeply honoured that you've asked me to contribute so much to We Love Laurence, and that you've wanted to collaborate with me... ME, of all people, on a site. Pixierocket will kick ass. Thank you for letting me in. I love you to the core.

Pykey! In the beginning it was me and my Cats site. And you, you helped me with SO much of it, without being condescending or belittling in any way, shape or form. Shank ewe for all the beautiful pics and graphics you've sent me to help me along with my site. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for all the support you've EVER given me... it's loads, and how will I ever repay you?! On that note, I don't think I've had a greater time on IRC with anyone else... Making popups and slaps and battling the evil channel takers and what was that one guy's name who brought like half his family in one time, forcing you and Ann and I to move to #purrsnickety? And don't forget Ann trying to convince some guy she was gay! ;) Our battles with Rik and Chicken Boy... erm... Mavs were utterly classic. You're one of the bestest friends I could have ever met, and without you my life would be boring! XOXOXO to you, wifey and Maddy! Take care, hun. :)

Rebecca. Starla, dear. Never have I had a friend to span every realm of my online existance. #mayonessa? You were one of the Old School Regs. Alt.music.spice-girls? You got me hooked. Alt.music.smash-pumpkins? I'll never forget your fight with Onica about the chronology of Billy's hair. You sure opened up a can of whupass on her. You know everyone. You are EveryWoman. I love you.

Rene. Oddly enough, you've been one of my biggest contributors to mayocom. You contribute poetry and a thought wherever I've needed one with your brilliant writing skills. Your creativity spawns creativity within me. Thanks for even being my friend, actually... I look up to you very much, and I value your opinion immensely. You completely humble me. It's so wonderful to be able to see that deep introspection of yours... never stop writing. It's also wonderful that you hate stupid people as much as I do, and are also a Grammar Nazi. We collaborate well. You, me, Toaster Wars, someday - it will scare people, and blind them with hot, gritty cheese!

Ron. So much has happened between us over the years that I can't begin to list it all here. Our lives have paralleled so eerily that at times it's almost like we were one person in two different places. Thank you for your compassion, understanding, and thoughtfulness. Thank you for sharing your lovely creativity and your undying passion for things you hold dear. I'm deeply honoured to have shared everything that we have together. God bless you, Ron... Keep shining. :)

Sam. You'll probably never read this - you never seriously seemed interested in my webstuffs - but if you do, I just want you to know I'm sorry. I do love you.

Special thanks go out to these bands for being the soundtrack to my many hours of sitting on my butt and creating useless websites:

The Smashing Pumpkins (whose neato song names inspired all my subdirectory and .html file names, and those neato lyrics helped me survive many a night), They Might Be Giants (Mink Car + Kool-Aid = interesting concepts), Weird Al Yankovic (cos, you know, it's all about the Pentiums), Kimaira, Alanis Morissette, Garbage, Geri Halliwell, Vacuum, The Verve, that darn Cats soundtrack, the lovely cds you kids have burned for me out of the compassion of your hearts, and, yes... even... the Spice Girls! Also, thank you for not pointing out how crap my taste in music is. I already know this, and I realise you're too nice to actually say it, but man, I can admit I have a problem. And I like having a problem! Do you have a problem with that?!

To anyone else I forgot:

Kick my ass.









Don't you hate it when there's a bunch of blank space at the bottom of a page, and when you highlight it, it turns out that it's some kind of annoying list of keywords? What's up with that? That's what the META tag is for, you idiots.





Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranjes. Apples, Oranges. Oranges, Apples (ha! Tricked you!). Apples, Oranjes, Apples. Opples, Aranges. Apples, Oranjes. Grapes. Kiwis. Sauerkraut. Peaches. Millions of peaches, Peaches for me, Millions of peaches, Peaches for free!





Are you wondering why "apples and oranjes"? One, it's a Smashing Pumpkins song off "Adore". Two, it used to be the name of the html document. However, I didn't want to change the text because I like the song "Peaches". Now you know *dun dun dun* WHY.





Hi MOM!

This page was last updated 2/26/03 at 5:50 pm CST.

All these words mayonessa, 1999 - 2004. Make your own damn acceptance speech, don't steal mine. All graphics also mayonessa, 1999, and no matter how crappy they are, don't steal those either.